Day 1

I have to say, there was something disappointing about the fact that I didn’t have to do anything sneaky to obtain a pack of cigarettes. I have been over the legal age for more than four years now, so there was no thrill to it at all. I wasn’t even carded! Lame.

But before I went out to buy my experimental pack, I did a lot of research. That is to say, I asked every smoker I knew what brand I should try for my experiment. Of course, they all just told me what brand they smoke personally… oh and that I was an idiot and to give this up before it got started. One person helpfully suggested clove cigarettes, but I declined that idea - I don’t need to become a cliche, here.

I finally picked out a brand (I assure you, it’s one you’ve heard of) and picked up a pack from the gas station. I felt like a total tool, just for the record. Not only because I was getting dirty looks for being a “smoker,” but because I knew I was a poseur.

The first try went predictably - I sat on my back porch with a lighter, and sat there coughing my way through my first cigarette ever. By the end of it, I realized two things: I was getting better at this, and that I didn’t have an ashtray. Poor planning for the win! I ended up using an empty terra cotta plant pot.

Day 2

At this point, I wasn’t sure what the big deal was. I now smelled bad, but I didn’t feel any closer to being addicted. I found some cool smoker friends so that I could use peer pressure to keep myself on task, and try again for the second day.

Day 3

Totally addicted. Also, I have a great idea for an experimental film. Well, experimental, but mainstream - I have a strange urge to become a sell-out. Also, I suspect that I have some form of smoker’s lung by now.